20

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

MARCH 22, 1996

BUT

Dykes To Watch Out For

A Smidge

Too Far

1996 BY ALISON BECHDEL

THAT EVENING...

MAYBE TONI HAS THE SKINNY ON SYDNEY'S

SORDID SECRET.

NOK Nok

232

IN OUR LAST TEMPESTUOUS

EPISODE, THEA APPEARED TO HAVE HAD A PRIOR ACQUAINTANCE

WITH A PARTICULAR POMPOUS PROFESSOR.

SYDNEY?

THEA?

LOIS! THEA KNOWS SYDNEY

UT AFTER SYDNEY LEAVES, THEA IS A TAD RETICENT WITH THE DETAILS. MO, I SAID DROP IT! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!

20008

AND WON'T TELL

ME HOW!

HI.

UH... ARE CLARICE AND TONI HERE? I, UM... HAVE SOMETHING TO DROP OFF.

COME ON IN!

THEY'RE OUT TO

DWNER. I'M

OH, RIGHT! NICE T'MEET You. I'M MO. SO HOW'S IT

GOING?

CARLOS, THE MALE ROLE MODEL.

Tío CA-WOSE! UP!

REALLY? MUST BE SOME.

THING PRETTY SEAMY.

HTTP://WWW.WINTERNET.COM/~OPRAIRIE/

YEAH! MAYBE THEY MET IN ONE OF THOSE "EX-GAY" TRYING TO

MINISTRIES, OVERCOME THEIR UNWHOLE-

SOME DESIRES!

HUMMINTIAM

Z NADIA TEDESIRE TROUBLE MUFF MY LONER USED TO BE A WOMAN

MAYBE SYDNEY HOSTED A FUCKERWARE PARTY WHERE THEA BOUGHT A MARITAL AID THAT SHORTCIRCUITED AND ELECTROLYSIZED ALL HER LOVER'S PUBIC HAIR.

NO, I KNOW! THEY USED TO BE LOVERS UNTIL ONE DAY THEA CAME HOME EARLY AND DISCOVERED SYDNEY'S PENCHANT FOR CROSS-DRESSING AS BEVERLY LA HAYE!

IT'S GOING GREAT! TODAY WE PRACTICED STANDING UP TO PEE, AND THEN WE REDID THE DOLLHOUSE DRAPES! RIGHT, RAFFLES?

OH, THAT'S

RING! PROBABLY TONI

NOW. HANG ON.

MANLY-MAN TRAINING ACADEMY, BUTCH SPEAKING!

¿!?

OH! SEÑOR ORTIZ! Sí,

THIS IS TONI'S NUMBER. 21 DE QUE ESTÁS HABLANDO?! ¡No! I'M

NOT THE FATHER! I'M JUST THE BABYSITTER, I SWEAR!

TIP O'THE NIB TO MARIO MARTINEZ

SNARK

¿QUÉ?! YOU

WANT ME TO MARRY

YOUR DAUGHTER?

WELL OKAY, BUT

I'M KEEPING

MY OWN NAME!

TAX

THE MOSTLY UNFABULOUS SOCIAL LIFE OF ETHAN GREEN...

at THE DEPARTMENT OF SOCIAL SERVICES;

.. AND YOU SAY

THIS CHILD,THIS

ELAINE BEN

MOON.

THIS ELAINE BENETT

SORRY

TO INTERRUPT SHE CALLS HER

WAS FOUND BY YOU

ABANDONED, AT A

PARADE?

SELF MOON..

YEAH..

AT PRIDE. SHE WAS SITTING ON THESE STEPS,CRYIK

AND THE CHILD HAS BEEN STAYING WITH YOU SINCE?

WELL YES... THATS THE POINT. HER PARENTS DON'T WANT HER 'CUZ SHE'S QUEER...

GROW UP,

ASSHOLES!

SOMEHOW, I DON'T

CLIK! THINK THAT HELPED

TONI'S CHANCES FOR A MOVING RECONCILIATION

WITH HER PARENTS.

and Now You WANT TO ADOPT HER?

By Eric ORner.

UH HUH. YEAH..

"CUZ SHE'S A GREAT KID. SMART AND FUNNY AND A PRETTY GOOD ATHLETE... BESIDES, I THINK I'D BE GOOD AT

iT...

AND WHAT IS ITABOUT YOURSELF WHICH PLACES YOU UNDER THAT MISAP PREHENSION?

WHAT POH, LIKE, WHY AM I QUALIFIES? WELL, I FIGURE I COULD PROTECT HER.. I COULD LOVE HER. I'M A BARTENDER, WE MAKE PRETTY GOOD MONEY, I COULD SAVE FOR HER EDUCATION.. SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY COVER THURSDAY NIGHTS

...AND YOU SAY THE CHIL& CLAIMS TO BE HOMOSEXUAL? AND YOU FEEL THAT YOUR EXPERIENCE AS A BARTENDER AND PART TIME Go-Go Boy EQUIPTS YOU WITH THE KNOW LEDGE AND WHERE WATHAL TO GUIDE HER THROUGH THIS PRO FOUNDLY IMPORTANT PERIOD

OF MATURATION & DEVELOPMENT?

HER BEING A DYKE Y’MEAN? YEAH, I CAN HANDLE IT.'WAY I FIGURE IS, IF I'M GONNA BE A DAD, I KIND' SEE MYSELF DOING ALL THOSE DA& THINGS, Y'KNOW? LIKE FISHING, AND CATCH, AND I MEAN WHAT' THE CHANCES OF A LITTLE GAYBOY WANTING TO TOSS A SOFTBALL AROUND THE BACK YARD?, I MEAN THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT HE'S RUN NING AWAY FROM... RIGHT?

..UH-NUH...

L

...WE'LL LET YOU KNOW...

so..?

DO I GET TO KEEP HER?

THE ALYSON ALMANAC

PRESENTS intre ha history

March 4, 1973: Betty Friedan, founder of the National Organization for Women, charges that lesbians had plotted to seduce her, and were trying to take over NOW. But her colleagues refused to follow her. Robin Morgan urged the public to dismiss Friedan's 'pathetic demands that we all now go backward."

Springtime greetings to

Julius Caesar

July 12(?), 100 B.C.-Mar. 15, 44 B.C.)

It is Caesar's relationship with Cleopatra that we remember, but much of his kingdom was inherited from his lover King

Nicomedes of Bithynia. They

met as young men during war, and their liaison scandalized associates. Caesar later had three wives and several male lovers, earning the epithet Husband to every woman and wife to every man." Then came those cursed Ides of March.

WILLHOITE

Standing HUNGARY?!?

Tall

The Times of Harvey Milk a documentary About the openly gay San Francisco City Supervisor who was assassinated by a fellow Supervisor in 1978, ed up an Academy rd on March 25,

1985. It was the first y themed film to ave an Oscar.

Hungary isn't on anybody's list of fun places to be

openly gay, but in

a surprise ruling, the

•Budapest

country's Constitutional Court declared on March 8, 1995, that common-law gay marriages should be accorded the same rights as heterosexual unions. It ordered parliament to make legal provisions within the year.

Sources: Members of the Tribe, by Michael Willhoite; and The Alyson Almanac.

sw

SUSAN M. WEAVER

ATTORNEY AT LAW

216 621-7200

Fax: 694.3486

Serving the

lesbian & gay coMMUNITY

for over gi

for over 14 years.

LEAVE IT TO WEAVER.

1370 W. 6 Suite 213

Cleveland, Ohio 44113

C. Wesley Jackson, Jr. Ph. D. Diplomate in Clinical Psychology, ABPP

Change Your Life For The Better Counseling and Psychotherapy

◆

Individuals Couples & Pairs◆ Families Women's Personal Growth Support Group Executive Coaching

"Serving the confidential needs of Northeast Ohioans for over 30 years."

216/321-9355